Comments?

Jan. 3rd, 2007 03:58 pm
jwgh: (TILT)
I just went to the Brooks Pharmacy and what did I find?
Sun Dried to perfection, Tomatoes that will tantalize your snacking self
The fresh beams of sunlight capture the bold and zesty flavors of tomatoes marinating in the sun. When this sun dried tomato crisp touches your tongue, it comes back to life, full of gourmet flavor. A flavor so delicious and overpowering that your taste buds will thank you for the experience.

Sun Dried Tomato.
It's a Pringles Select.

jwgh: (Default)
I was looking up some information about microphones and came across this nugget of information:
Condenser microphones range from cheap to expensive.
Thank you.
jwgh: (Default)
Find all of the things that are wrong with this:



I will give you one for free: there appears to be an extra state between Ohio and Pennsylvania.

(Saw this on The Comc Curmudgeon's column on Wonkette.)
jwgh: (Default)
OK. [livejournal.com profile] cpr94 sent me this video: http://time.blogs.com/daily_dish/2006/10/best_worst_80s_.html (which is Journey's 'Separate Ways', just so you don't get blindsided).

I should just say out front that, as far as I'm concerned, there is one thing that makes this video stand out, namely: Keyboard-On-A-Wall. In fact, I think if this video was entirely Keyboard-On-A-Wall and I would have been happy.

However, there are some other notable things about it, such as:

- An object lesson in why Air Piano never really caught on.
- Hey, let's rent out a warehouse for the weekend and make a video!
- Meaningful looks into the camera.
- The Air Spazzing during the first chorus.
- PIANO-ON-A-WALL!
- Man, for some reason I want to buy some 20 right now.
- Oh, it was all a dream! (Or WAS IT????)

Total cost to make this video: $27.75.
jwgh: (arrrr)
In the current Harper's, John Leonard reviews a few books. The review of Nell Freudenberger's The Dissident ends:
Freudenberger won the PEN/Malamud Award for her story collection, Lucky Girls. She has taught English in Bangkok and New Delhi, and volunteered for humanitarian organizations in Asia. By looking at L.A. through Chinese eyes, she achieves something of the odd, off-balancing effect of Jonathan Franzen's Indians in St. Louis in The Twenty-Seventh City. Although the stranger is a mirror, what we see is still make-believe and copycat. Nevertheless, for all its many interesting pages, The Dissident feels unfinished. It feels, in fact, like two different scaffolds leaning on each other just to stand up.
Does anyone know what those last three sentences are supposed to convey?
jwgh: (Default)
Just got this email:
5/2/06

Dear Mr. Haller:

In one of your essays which starts “Another sampling from the Sky Mall catalog, you make mention of the availability of purchasing a mouse pad with the theme “The essence of survival”. I have been trying to purchase this item for sometime now and would appreciate if you could give me a phone # or the name of the Company to contact that has this item.

Thank you in advance

Sincerely,

Mary Lou Georgia
which refers to an essay I wrote about Successories a while back.
jwgh: (Default)
In computability theory, a machine that always halts — also called a decider (Sipser, 1996) — is any abstract machine or model of computation that, contrary to the most general Turing machines, is guaranteed to halt for any particular description and input (see halting problem).
jwgh: (arrrr)
On a busy European street, the killer serpentined through a crowd. He was a powerful man. Dark and potent. Deceptively agile. His muscles still felt hard from the thrill of his meeting.

comedy gold

Nov. 4th, 2005 11:06 am
jwgh: (Default)
According to http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20051101/ts_nm/food_beef_recall_dc :
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Quaker Maid Meats Inc. on Tuesday said it would voluntarily recall 94,400 pounds of frozen ground beef panties that may be contaminated with E. coli.
That doesn't sound comfortable at all.

The article concludes:

The following products were recalled:

-Three-pound boxes of "Philly-gourmet, 100% Pure Beef, Homestyle Patties," with the packaging code of "2005A," "2005B," "2005C" or "2005D";

-Five-pound boxes of "Philly-gourmet, 100% Pure Beef, Homestyle Patties," with the packaging code of "2005A," "2005B," "2005C" or "2005D."

Oh, right, I knew that's what they meant.
jwgh: (Default)
Nielson is paying me $5 or something to take a survey about my Internet use. Some of the questions are a little funny. I particularly like:
Do you currently have access to the Internet or World Wide Web at work or from a computer used primarily for work, regardless of location?
Click one.
  • YES
  • NO
  • ONLY THROUGH WEB TV
  • DON'T KNOW
  • REFUSE

There's also something a little funny about:
What operating systems do you have on all of your home computers with Internet access?
Click one.
  • ALL OF MY HOME PCs HAVE WINDOWS
  • ALL OF MY HOME PCs ARE MAC (MACINTOSH) VERSION 8.0-9.2
  • ALL OF MY HOME PCs HAVE EITHER WINDOWS OR ARE MAC (MACINTOSH) VERSION 8.0-9.2
  • I HAVE OPERATING SYSTEMS OTHER THAN WINDOWS OR MAC (MACINTOSH) VERSION 8.0-9.2 ON MY HOME PCs
  • DON'T KNOW
  • REFUSE

9.2?
jwgh: (bunny ears)
Is My Child Becoming Homosexual? If he doesn't want to grow up to be something macho, like a police officer, an Indian chief, a construction worker, a soldier, a leatherman, or a cowboy, then maybe so! Also, note that hanging out with girls is really gay.

But if so, don't worry. Professional help is available. To help your child:

1. Reassure him that you love him very much just the way he is.

2. For God's sake, try to fix him as quickly as possible.

This public service announcement is brought to you by stupid people.
jwgh: (Default)
On Sunday I went to the Boston Museum of Science with Kibo, [livejournal.com profile] mmcirvin, [livejournal.com profile] samantha2074, and Joshua Cope. One of the things we did there was watch a one-man play about the life of Nikola Tesla titled Battle of the Currents. That inspired me to write the following (which was also posted to alt.religion.kibology).
Tesla: The Life of a Genius )
I always am tempted to explain what I'm talking about in stuff I write, but it's probably a mistake to do so.
jwgh: (carsign)
is the website of design firm Let's Goon Line or whatever it is. I'm not sure how they could have made their navigation system more annoying; not even RISD's is as bad, in my opinion.

The coup de grace is the 'Ambiance' option, which until you turn it off results in a throbbing hum playing constantly in the background while you try to figure out how to find anything on the website. My hat is off to you, crappy web designers! Also, I appreciate being welcomed to the 'LETS GO ONLINE DEVLOPMENT[sic] PORTFOLIO'.

I found out about these web designers because apparently they designed the website for America West and a Son E, which is the home of the worst music video ever (which is described by web cartoonist Jeffrey Rowland as 'like a for-real South Park song'). The singer used to be a stuntman on Star Trek, apparently.
jwgh: (Default)
The phone rang, so I muted the volume on my computer and answered it.

"Hello, is Jacob Haller there?"

"Speaking."

"Hello, Jacob. I work for [some company]. Have you heard of us?"

"Nope!"

"Oh, well, we specialize in getting websites to the top of search engine results. I've just been doing some research on your industry. Can I ask you some questions about your web site?"

"Wait -- what industry do you think I'm in?"

At this point there was a short, uncomfortable pause. Then he said, "Well, let me just look at your web page for a second."

I then heard him mumbling phrases from my mother's web page. After a little while, he hazarded, "It looks like you're in real estate?"

"Nope," I said.

"Oh, well, ..." he said, and went back to reading my mother's web page to himself.

After thirty seconds more of this I said, "Well, thanks for your time," and hung up.

spam, grrr

Feb. 15th, 2005 11:03 am
jwgh: (arrrr)
Subject: Are you sure your site listed in Google?
Pretty sure. How else would jerkstove spammers like you have found me?

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Jacob Haller

October 2015

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