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A lot of the spam I've been getting lately has been yacht-related.

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I got spam today which had this subject:
Do you think my bra is too tight?
and my first thought was "Possibly -- a lot of women don't wear the right size bra. Try going down a strap size and up a cup size."
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An anonymous user just posted the following (slightly censored) message as a comment to two posts in [livejournal.com profile] snbprov:
My name is Lauren Peri and I am posting a comment on behalf of Sony Pictures. We have a new movie coming out Called [redacted] with [redacted]. Im sure you have all heard of it by now, anyway we would love to send all Stich and Bitch groups or just knitting groups free advancing screening passes for Monday Jan. 22nd. Please contact me at 617-xxx-xxxx. This screening will be held at the Providence Place Mall Theatre
The movie doesn't have anything to do with knitting, as far as I can tell. Have other people been seeing this sort of thing?


Jul. 19th, 2006 08:55 pm
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From: "Colin Powell" <rayknight@nutecurethanes.com>
Subject: She will love you more than any other guy
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%WOULD you %LIKE %1500 %TO %3500 a day just for returning %CALLS?

Well then %LEAVE us a %SHORT 30-45sec %MSG -> 1.888.xxx.xxxx <-

Bright Francisca
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For those of you wondering why the spam you get isn't as cool as the stuff I get, here's a little dissection of the latest Captain Blood spam I got. ([livejournal.com profile] mskala suggested that something like this was the case after I made my first post about these spams a while back.)

These spams are sent formatted in HTML. For instance the first line of the spam I just got has the following underlying HTML code:
<DIV><FONT face=Arial>Hello, do <SPAN style="DISPLAY: none">plantations as a slave.</SPAN>you want to spend Iess on your drrugs?</FONT></DIV>
The 'SPAN style="DISPLAY: none"' bit means that everything between that and the </SPAN> tag isn't supposed to be displayed, so in most web browsers and email programs it ends up looking like this:
Hello, do you want to spend Iess on your drrugs?
Which makes it pretty clear that they are selling drugs and also that they don't know how to spell. (Also note that they substitute a capital 'i' for the lowercase 'L' in 'less', since both appear the same in the font they specified [Helvetica]. They probably did this also to throw off spam filters.)

But I use Eudora and have configured it to ignore <font> tags, so I get the whole shebang:
Hello, do plantations as a slave.you want to spend Iess on your drrugs?
So only I (and others with email programs like mine) will know that these people are really selling 'LEngland where a man of your parts would be warmly welcomed. ThereEVlTRA', which is oddly apt.

It's sort of like backwards masking except dumber.

And now you know the rest of the story.
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Hello, do you want to stark naked, each armed with a grapnel, four of them on the gunwale,spend Iess on your drrugs?
There's probably an entire website devoted to grapnel porn.
Try us and yohad empurpled in his angry vehemence, and the veins of his foreheadu will not be disappointed!
I would hope not.
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I've seen spam before where random letters are inserted into words to defeat anti-spam filters. The results range from the relatively comprehensible 'The women are all reaijqgul and all horxumny as hell! ' to (a personal favorite) 'Where the women_avtre_easy and the shmoilex is frettvle! ' which takes a little thought to decode.

Today I got a spam which inserted entire sentence fragments into the middle of words. This makes it very difficult to tell which parts of the message are the parts that are trying to sell you something and which parts are random bits of text grabbed from somewhere.
Hello, PharmacyBybe judged from appearances.Mail SHOP tender-hearted man, possessing his vision and his knowledge, mightWelcomes you!

Our new great othat the defenders were being driven steadily back. By sunset twoffer:
take the risk of correcting it?"VlAGRA ClALher face.lS Vceased.ALlUM LE"Propose it, then," said Blood, without interest.VlTRA These straggling, excited groups were mainly composed of men withand many other

for VERY Rhour, perhaps, before she came to anchorage within the harbour. AndEASONABLE PRlCES.

With each purchgreat number of negroes.ase you get:

Top quaIwas examining the receding squadron, observed things apparentity
the stout Walls which fortify it, would appear to have no otherHome deIivery
Total confswindled, but also M. de Cussy and the volunteers and negroesidentiaIity

Just try us and you will not be diupon him in evil mockery. Then he controlled himself as if by ansappointed!
Great number of negroes? I think we can all agree that the shmoilex is frettvle, indeed.

(Incidentally, the non-spam text appears to be taken at least in part from Captain Blood, a book which appears to have been published in 1922.)
jwgh: (Default)
Subject: Don't have the extra letters behind your name? [rcutj]
Actually, I have an Rcutj in Chemistry.

In other news, my new pants continue to make me happy. This is a little strange, because they are almost identical to my old pants, but I find it is best not to question these things.

Also, I invite people to suggest more amusing areas of study that I could have a fake degree in. Applied Comparative Literature? Organic Sociology? Comic Book Studies? You be the judge!
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The phone rang, so I muted the volume on my computer and answered it.

"Hello, is Jacob Haller there?"


"Hello, Jacob. I work for [some company]. Have you heard of us?"


"Oh, well, we specialize in getting websites to the top of search engine results. I've just been doing some research on your industry. Can I ask you some questions about your web site?"

"Wait -- what industry do you think I'm in?"

At this point there was a short, uncomfortable pause. Then he said, "Well, let me just look at your web page for a second."

I then heard him mumbling phrases from my mother's web page. After a little while, he hazarded, "It looks like you're in real estate?"

"Nope," I said.

"Oh, well, ..." he said, and went back to reading my mother's web page to himself.

After thirty seconds more of this I said, "Well, thanks for your time," and hung up.

spam, grrr

Feb. 15th, 2005 11:03 am
jwgh: (arrrr)
Subject: Are you sure your site listed in Google?
Pretty sure. How else would jerkstove spammers like you have found me?
jwgh: (Default)
Subject: Lonely women will do anything for sex ,, Get ahold of them right now .
Would they shovel my driveway when it snows? That could have been handy this morning.


jwgh: (Default)
Jacob Haller

October 2015

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