The Conspiracy Confirmed

[jwgh]

I know, I know. We've all heard the rumors, we've all heard the jokes, maybe we've even told a few ourselves. And yet ... I never even suspected the sheer size of the difference. Perhaps you are the same as I was until yesterday. If so, prepare to have your mind expanded.

So Kerri, Talysman, Kibo, and I were at the Providence Place mall, and we happened to go into Nordstrom's, and while we were in Nordstrom's several of us were struck by a desire to use the rest rooms. (Speaking of which, an interesting term, isn't it? It never made sense to me -- until now.)

While Kerri and I waited outside the rest rooms, Kerri mentioned that there was a couch in the woman's room and asked what sort of facilities the men's room had. I said that there wasn't anything like that and, after some prodding, agreed to take a picture. As you can see, there's nothing out of the ordinary: a couple of stalls, a couple of urinals, some sinks, and that's about it:



Actually, it's nicer than a lot of men's rooms, in that it's actually quite clean. (Kerri wanted to know what the vending machine you can see in the mirror dispenses. It dispenses diapers for the changing table I was standing next to when I took the picture.)

Kerri then agreed to take my camera into the women's room and take some pictures there. Upon reemerging, she showed me the three pictures she took. "OK, here's the first living room," she began:



I was stunned. Places to sit and, apparently, read? Furniture you could even lie down on if you wanted to? Carpeting? IN A REST ROOM? Had the world gone mad??!? The next picture was of the same room but taken from a different angle. But what was picture #3? "This is the second living room," Kerri explained:



This was huge! I was completely blown away. How had this information been kept from the public so long? I resolved to let everyone know this important information as soon as possible. Not even cryptic decapitation threats from the Nordstrom's Bathroom Cabal (TINC) can dissuade me:



INFORMATION MUST BE FREE! Rise up and demand equal bathrooms, my brothers!

-jwgh

Comments

[sunburn.livejournal.com]

If there was a couch in the men's room, would you sit on it?

[jwgh]

Sure, blame the VICTIMS. I think there's no saying what the men of the world would do if they had the awesome bathroom facilities currently available to the OTHER SEX. It's literally unimaginable! It's like, if you asked fifteen years ago what people would do if given unlimited access to the Internet, would you have predicted that they would be selling pogs on Ebay? I don't think so. That's what happens when civilization crosses a new rubicon that's this big.

And, OK, so you're concerned about issues of hygiene. I can respect that. But surely once we're all supernatural kung fu eunich clones this will no longer be an issue. I for one embrace our brave new future, where we spend 90% of our time luxuriating in spacious, comfortable, well-lit mall bathrooms!

Now, I hate to make unfounded accusations, but I have to say I smell a rat. Has Nordstrom's has gotten to you, too? What did they promise you? A lifetime supply of furry slippers? A pint of Vera Wang's latest fragrance? Sure, your future may be a little more comfortable, a little less stinky, but just think to yourself, will I really be able to live myself knowing that I am denying my fellow man the rest room facilities he is due? Just listen to your inner voice and I'm sure you'll come around to my point of view. You know it's true.

[mmcirvin.livejournal.com]

Just... for God's sake... don't put a sofa in the dormitory I lived in my sophomore year in college.

Just don't.

[schwa242.livejournal.com]

Uh no... pass out drunk on it. It's gotta be more comfortable than using porcelain as a pillow. Duh.

-- Schwa ---