generalizing a bad joke

[jwgh]

Last year, I learned a new joke:

Q: If you're an American in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom?

A: Eur o pean!

Last night as I was half-asleep it occurred to me that this could be a representative of an entire family of jokes about placenames with similar properties. It turns out to be a little tricky, though; the only place I could think of that seemed to have any possibilities is Ukraine, and even there I couldn't come up with a joke that made any kind of sense. Can any of you do better?

Comments

[schwa242.livejournal.com]

Where do former small-time pimps go to retire?

I'd a ho.

[mmcirvin.livejournal.com]

Which raises the question of how Idaho was named. The Wikipedia page on Idaho says that the name was made up by a hoaxer as a potential name for Colorado (which seems to be true), but also claims that it was derived from "I the ho" (which strikes me as pretty unlikely, given that I think "ho" for "whore" is 20th-century slang, though I've been wrong about these things before and it's obvious enough that it could have arisen previously).

[mmcirvin.livejournal.com]

...the Oxford American Dictionary claims that "ho" came into general use in the 1960s.

[muffyjo]

So I knew one and went searching for some others for ya...the on I knew was:
Q: What's Delaware
A: Her New Jersey!

Here's a link to a whole lot more.

[samantha2074.livejournal.com]

I first heard that joke as "What does Delaware to the party?" I think it has a little more punch to it that way.

[waider.livejournal.com]

It's against my better judgement to post this, but...

That telegraphs the answer rather than adding punch. "What's Delaware" belongs to the same class of jokes as "What's a Henway?" (a few pounds! ha! ha!) in that the way in which the question is posed is intended to throw off the listener. Adding "to the party" to the above makes it obvious that we're no longer talking about the state but rather punning on its name.

And now, having explained the mechanics of the joke, it is dead, dead, dead. Let that be a lesson to you.

[plorkwort.livejournal.com]

I learned this similar song at summer camp.

[wisn.livejournal.com]

There (is? was, anyway) a local company that sold ad space on posters hung over urinals, called European Advertising.

[doctroid.livejournal.com]

USGS GNIS lists the following (selected) place names:

Eucalyptis Hills, CA
Eucha, OK
Euchee Township, OK
Eucheeanna, FL
Euclid, OH
Eucutta, MS
Eudora, AR, KS, MS, and MO
Eudowood, MD
Eufala Township, OK
Eugene, OR
Euharlee, GA
Eula, TX and AR
Eulala, SC
Eulalia Township, PA
Eulaton, AL
Euless, TX
Eulia, TN
Eulogy, MS and TX
Eulonia, GA and SC
Eunice, AR, KY, LA, MS, MO, NM, TX, and WV
Eunola, AL
Euphemia, OH
Eupora, MS
Eure, NC
Lots of Eurekas, including cities in KS and SD
Euren, WI <-- major HAW HAW potential
Europa, MO
Eustace, TX
Eustis, FL, ME, MT, NE, and MI
Eutaw, AL and MS (but you might as well use Utah)
Euterpe, KY
Euthtilloga (historical), GA
Ewbanks [sic], IL as well as lots of Eubankses or Eubansi or Eubanksen, whatever

Many of which provide loads of possibilities for some seriously gutbusting humor, for those six people who've heard of any of these places. Note that many of these are classed as "populated places", a category that includes Eugene, OR, which even I have heard of; but it also includes (as a non-Eu example) Griffin's Corners, located at the corner of Griffin Road and Route 80 in New York, a couple miles from where I used to live; "populated" in that instance means "there are two houses on that corner, maybe three". So what I'm saying is, some of these places might be so obscure, the people who live there never heard of 'em.

I hope this has been no help whatsoever.

[cpr94.livejournal.com]

Q: What do you do with your neck if you're stuck in the USSR and you want to peek over the Iron Curtain?

A: Ukraine.

That might technically qualify as a "joke" that makes "any kind of sense." Technically.