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samantha2074
Jul. 16th, 2004 03:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jwghLeave a comment with a title and a line of dialogue and I will attempt to write either a 100 or 500-word story using both. Whee!
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Jul. 16th, 2004 03:55 pmjwghjwgh
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hexagon
Date: 2004-07-16 01:36 pm (UTC)Re: hexagon
Date: 2004-07-17 10:26 am (UTC)hexagon
"What happened?"
"They just swarmed out of there. I've never seen anything like it!"
"What's the damage?"
"Well, they took all the sugar from the mess hall --"
"A little sugar? So what?"
"More than a little -- three fifty-pound bags! I don't know how --"
"What else did they carry out, Lieutenant?"
"Nothing from the base, but they ransacked a perfume store in town."
"Injuries?"
"Pretty minor, actually, apart from Johnson. He's allergic to stings, you know."
"Any word from the scientists on how they escaped?"
"Feh. Scientists. According to them, they shouldn't be able to fly in the first place."
The False Nun
Date: 2004-07-16 01:58 pm (UTC)Re: The False Nun
Date: 2004-07-16 02:38 pm (UTC)The False Nun
The black-clad figure enters discreetly through a back door and steps quietly through the abattoir, stopping occasionally to collect a choice piece of offal.
Suddenly, the police enter, guns at the ready. One shouts: "Drop the rectum or I'll shoot you in the face."
The figure freezes, then runs, dodging quickly. A shot rings out and the figure folds in on itself. The cop's partner runs over, pulls off the figure's mask, swears.
"Jesus, Joe, you almost killed 'im. How'd you know it wasn't a real sister?" Joe looks at his partner in disgust. "Nuns don't wear tuxedos, idiot."
How much saliva?
Date: 2004-07-16 04:24 pm (UTC)Re: How much saliva?
Date: 2004-07-16 10:48 pm (UTC)How Much Saliva?
"So what did he say next?" I asked.
"'Did you know that a cow produces 60 litres of saliva per day?' the Pope asked Iraqi Prime Minister Iyad Allawi.'
"Is that true?"
"Which, that he said it or that the Pope asked that or that a cow secretes that much saliva?"
"Any of 'em. All of 'em."
"No and yes."
I paused and thought this over. Finally, I decided to go for broke. "Hey, so what kind of a stupid logic puzzle is this, anyway?"
The knave considered this carefully, then responded crisply: "A purple one. With green polkadots."
The Spice of Discovery
Date: 2004-07-16 06:32 pm (UTC)(Both taken from a pamphlet that is in front of me.)
Re: The Spice of Discovery
Date: 2004-07-16 08:43 pm (UTC)Re: The Spice of Discovery
Date: 2004-07-27 05:27 pm (UTC)The Spice of Discovery
The ship was hit. The stench of garlic filled the engine room.
The lead engineer's communicator beeped. "Damage report?"
"The containment field for the 6-Nonenamide,(E)-N-[4-Hydroxy-3-methoxy -phenyl)methyl]-8-methyl[404-86-4]E)-8-Methyl-N-vanillyl-6 nonenamide crystals is breaking down. I'll have to patch things up, but it should be done in twenty minutes."
The engineer turned to her assistant. "Preheat the containment unit to 505 Kelvin, and we'll need some prime pullets stat."
"Yes, sir. Anything else?"
The engineer paused, then: "Ginger Pepper on any chicken dish is sensational."
no subject
Date: 2004-07-16 07:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-16 11:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-16 11:46 pm (UTC)Title: "The Peanut Butter Omelet"
Line of Dialogue: "I don't know why, but the toothpaste still smelled like bacon."
HAVE FUN!
no subject
Date: 2004-08-01 06:37 pm (UTC)The Peanut Butter Omelet
Two roommates:
"We shouldn't eat out every day."
"Have you cooked anything before?"
"No. How hard can it be?"
"I cooked dinner once. It went OK, but everything smelled funny afterward. My clothes smelled like peppermint, and a week later ..."
"... What?"
"I don't know why, but the toothpaste still smelled like bacon."
"Whatever. But we can't keep eating out. It's too expensive."
"Fine. I'll make a shopping list. What to cook?"
"Omelet?"
"Sure. Eggs, peanut butter, ..."
"Peanut butter?"
"And which of us has cooked before?"
"Point taken."
The next day:
"Delicious!"
"Told you."
Contented sighs.
"Say, do you smell pepperoni?"
no subject
Date: 2004-08-01 06:52 am (UTC)In the Hall of the Mountin' King
A palace decorated in fur and glass, the King of the Taxidermists' home. A man of skill; those viewing animals he's stuffed swear they yet live. His one companion, his dog.
He refuses all visitors for months, but today allows one. He rises stiffly.
The visitor looks concerned. "You're OK?"
"I had an accident while touring my estate. My leg was amputated."
Looking down, the king's legs appear normal. The King notices. "My best work. It required much practice. Still ..."
Inquisitive look.
"Well, you should have seen the look on the dog's face when I did it to his leg."
The Bastard of Barrytown
Date: 2004-07-16 07:54 pm (UTC)(Va erny yvsr, gur Xvatqbz Unyy va dhrfgvba vf npghnyyl unysjnl gb Erq Ubbx, ohg vg'f fgvyy njshyyl pybfr gb gur Havsvpngvba Gurbybtvpny Frzvanel.)