jwgh | Here's an awesome classified ad

This is from last Thursday's Providence Phoenix. It's in the classifieds under 'Gigs'. I've redacted the phone number. Yes, that is how 'Beatles' is spelled in the ad.

Angels of the Light Live in Same House Singer, songwriter, producer seeks euphoric, patient, mellow musicians to put together a good band. Seeking all types of instruments. Inf: Led Zeppelin, Moody Blues, Doors, Pink Floyd, Rolling Stones, Rush, ELP, Fleetwood MAc, Jimi Hendrix, Scorpions, Van Halen. Bealtles, BOC, Bob Marley, Queensryche, RJ Dio, CSNY, Neil Diamond, Whitesnake, Bread, Donovan, The Dead, Deep Purple. On the 1st CD we'll sell 75 to 100 million copies non-competitively. All original music. Must be vegetarians. No TV, radio or newspapers. 75% of our music will be above our love for women as they dearly love us. 25% about the natural phenomenon of the world. We must have faith in the infinite God and his/her angels of love, light and eternity. The path to heaven is open for all of is. The love in our hearts must triumph over our intellect and that pertains to all of us. There will be reincarnation and a great resurrection for all that was good, kind and benevolent. We must have: God, love, peace, faith, hope, truth, freedom, compassion, trust, happiness, harmony, satisfaction, patience. In life and in this band patience is universally important. What we need for this band is a feeling of the love that would fill up a 7 billion seat stadium. A world of total love, peace and freedom will come very slowly. Ask for Neil xxx-xxx-xxxx.